5 Tips for Staying Calm During a Divorce Hearing

You’ve hired a lawyer, maybe you’ve attended mediation, and now you’re going to your first divorce hearing. It may be a hearing for temporary custody or temporary alimony, or it may be that you have skipped the temporary hearings and go directly to the custody or support lawsuit. Either way, I’m sure you’re nervous and a little unsure about what’s going to happen. Here are 5 tips on how to stay calm during a court hearing or trial.

1. Breathe. I know this may sound silly, but people tend to hold their breath when they’re nervous or scared. The last thing you want to do during your hearing is pass out. Inhale through the nose and gently exhale through the mouth. No one will be able to tell you are doing this and it will help lower your blood pressure and make you feel calm.
2. Dress nicely, but wear something that is comfortable for you. If you don’t like three-piece suits, your first court hearing is not the place to try on a new suit. For men, slacks and a dress shirt are usually fine. For women, a blouse and pants or a skirt will be fine. Remember that the courtroom can be hot or cold, so wear a jacket or sweater that you can remove during breaks if it gets too hot.
3. Don’t worry about the little things. I know it’s hard when you’re listening to your future ex-spouse say snide things about you on the witness stand, but keep your composure. Much of what he/she is saying is likely to make no difference to the judge.
4. Drink plenty of water. Staying hydrated is especially important when you’re nervous or scared. Often court staff will put water and glasses on the table for you, but if you don’t take a sip from the water fountain during breaks. It also doesn’t hurt to bring a healthy snack like a granola bar that you can eat during a break if you don’t have time for a proper lunch. A day in short can be surprisingly exhausting. Feeding your body can make it a little easier.
5. Be prepared. Before you go to a courtroom hearing, you should talk to your lawyer about what will happen and what you need to do to be prepared. Sometimes lawyers who have done this hundreds of times forget about the little things that can leave you feeling caught off guard. Things like which side goes first? (usually the plaintiff) And why does the judge call the lawyers where he sits? (usually to make an evidentiary decision, but sometimes just to ask about an unrelated matter) Make a list of questions and bring it to your divorce attorney several days before your hearing. Knowing the procedural parts of the hearing will make you feel more comfortable when you are in the courtroom.

Following these 5 tips won’t guarantee success in the courtroom, but it will make your first court date a little easier for you.