Relationships: Are some people addicted to feeling rejected?

You could say that although rejection is part of life, there are some people who experience it more than others. Now sometimes this is because of how someone lives their life.

For example, let’s say someone is an entrepreneur, constantly presenting their ideas to different people. Someone like this will end up taking more risks (calculated risks), which means that they will not have the same degree of acceptance that they would have if they had a normal job.

Have a date

Alternatively, someone could be at a point in their life where they are looking for someone to be in a relationship with. Then one could go out on a regular basis to meet one’s partner.

If you are a man who approaches different women, rather than a woman who might wait for a man to approach her, for example, you are naturally going to experience a fair amount of rejection. But, in cases like this, the rejection they experience is simply a means to an end.

A big difference

This is naturally different from someone who not only experiences rejection once in a while, but more or less always experiences rejection. Along with what happens externally, they can also have the tendency to feel rejected for no apparent reason.

Therefore, it will not matter what is happening externally, as it will not prevent them from feeling that they are not accepted and that they are worthless. So it is not a feeling that comes and goes; it is something that has become ingrained in your being.

Unconscious

However, although this will be a feeling that has become a big part of your life, it does not mean that you will achieve it. Consequently, it might seem that they only experience life in this way due to what is happening externally.

And, as a result of what is happening within them, they will also feel rejected even when they have not been rejected. It will be as if they are wearing special glasses, with these glasses defining how they interpret the behavior of other people.

A common occurrence

If someone like this is in a relationship, you may find that your partner does not treat you very well. However, instead of doing something about it or ending the relationship, they choose to put up with what is happening.

They may have a hard time remembering when they last felt accepted and appreciated by this person, which could show how dysfunctional their relationship is. If they looked back at their life, they might find that their past relationships were no different.

Another scenario

Alternatively, someone like that could be reflecting on their last relationship, even though it ended many months ago and wasn’t working. Doing this could make them feel rejected and like they are worthless.

Ergo, even though it won’t have been a satisfying relationship, they will still long for the person who treated them badly. Along with this, they might have times where they wonder what it would be like to be with someone different.

It feels good

Still, if they meet someone who is different and it ends up going further, there is a great chance that they will soon lose interest. This person will not treat you in a way that supports how you feel inside.

So it won’t matter if they wanted to be with someone who accepted them before the relationship began, as this will not be what a large part of them would like. This part of them will only feel comfortable if you are with someone who validates how they feel inside.

Two parts

Consciously, then, one could say that one will want to feel accepted and be accepted by others, but unconsciously, this is not something that feels safe. Since feeling rejected is what feels safe on a deeper level, it will be as if feeling this way is part of who you are.

Ultimately, your ego can form an identity around anything; it doesn’t matter if it empowers or disempowers. The only thing that matters is that you are familiar, the familiar being the safe.

Death

Therefore, if one were to let go of this feeling and no longer feel rejected all the time, it would be as if they had lost themselves. They will only know who they are when they feel rejected, so to stop feeling that way would be experienced as a loss.

At one point in his life, his egoic mind would have come to associate the feeling of rejection with what he felt safe. And, as the days and weeks passed, feeling like this would have gradually become part of her identity.

Way back

What this can show is that their early years were a time when they were abused and / or neglected. Being treated this way would have caused them a lot of pain, but there would be nothing they could do about it.

Experiencing all this pain and being treated poorly would not have been good for them, however it would have ended up being what they felt comfortable with. Being treated differently, even if it meant being treated with love, would have been seen as a threat to his survival.

Awareness

If someone takes all this into account, it will allow him to understand why he is hooked on feeling bad. Your behavior may have been seen as irrational before, but it will make more sense now.
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If you can relate to this and want to change your life, you may need to seek outside help. This is something that can happen with the help of a therapist or healer.