How to manage when a health crisis hits!
A brain tumor! Actually?
This was my thought last April 2012 when I was diagnosed with a 3 centimeter tumor in the left occipital region of my brain. What about simple illnesses like a cold, or if that wasn’t appealing to me, how about a less life-threatening illness? Of course, those questions cannot be answered, so I made up my mind. I would do my best and use all available tools (medical and otherwise) to manage this crisis, learn from it, grow from the experience, and be free of it! This is the first of several articles that will describe the healing process and understand how to make the most of a health crisis.
My Story: It is traditional at the Passover Dinner for all participants to read. When it was my turn, I tried to read and couldn’t! Of course, I went into immediate denial. “I’m tired of all the cooking” and “I just got a new puppy.” Well, that didn’t make a difference. What he did was my good friend Judy, who yelled at me, “Call the doctor.” “But I was in the middle of a TV show,” I complained. She and my husband wouldn’t leave me alone, so I called. Two days later I had an MRI and 4 hours later I was at Cedars Sinai Hospital with the best neurosurgeon in California. Three days later they operated on me to remove the tumor.
The good news…they got it all…the bad news…it was aggressive and I had to have radiation for 6 weeks and take chemo pills for 6 weeks. The treatment protocol is to take 5 days of chemotherapy pills every month for a year. I have also entered a clinical trial at Cedars Sinai for a vaccine that will inactivate these cells. The end result of the surgery is that I’m healthy, but I still can’t read or drive… damn it… more to deal with! I think we have lessons to learn from the crisis in our lives. I will address that important topic in a later article.
I told you my “story” because I didn’t want you to get caught up in what happened. What’s important is what I decided to do about it and the journey I’ve been on over the past six months.
When first diagnosed, after the initial wave of fear and apprehension, we take action. We listen to the doctors and we choose who we want to be on our team. There is a lot of pressure on everyone to do the ‘right’ thing. But what is correct? How do you know what is right for you? Questions flood your brain. The tendency is to leave decision-making in the hands of doctors or family members. Do not do that! Keep your humor. Feel the emotions that arise. Then come back to yourself, to your truth, to your intelligence and to what you believe. This is the only place where you can really hear yourself. It became clear to me that I needed a traditional and holistic treatment. I saw it as a complete circle. Very clear. Now he had to find out what the circle contained.
I knew I needed an advocate, a therapist who could keep me in tune with myself so fears wouldn’t take over. I knew that I was going to do Western medical treatments, although I have always been suspicious of the traditional medical society. I took a leap of faith and realized that they are experts in treating tumors, they are trained by experts, and I would receive good advice and guidance. I listened to my family and friends and made my own decisions. I went through all the options and ideas that came my way. I think when an idea occurs to me I should pay attention. It is an opportunity that may or may not be right for me. I decided yes with a nutritionist, yes with my holistic doctor (which I already had), and yes with a clinical trial of a cancer vaccine. I decided against acupuncture and some other healing modalities simply because I was overwhelmed with doctor’s appointments. I of course said YES to hypnosis and guided imagery. I have been practicing hypnotherapy for 30 years and it is a big part of me. The difference is that I allowed other practitioners (my friends) to work with me. I have some wonderful CDs to listen to and hypnosis is multi faceted as I am able to work with stress, fear, negativity as well as healing, relieving symptoms and strengthening my health.
My mindset was important. I chose a therapist who believes that once the tumor is there, the crisis that caused it is over and healing is in progress. He resonated with me. I have never seen myself as sick or unhealthy.
The articles that follow will explain how I maintain my strength, my power, and my patience. They will discuss different healing modalities and how to choose what is right for you. The last six months have been a journey of letting go, relearning what I took for granted, making up for it, letting myself be cared for, and receiving. I am learning to control my urge to be in control! This is the hardest job I’ve ever had. As I navigate through life, sometimes I feel like I’m failing and I don’t understand it, and other times I feel very wise and powerful. When friends, family, doctors, people I know look up to me for how I’m handling it, I just quietly smile inside.
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