Porn and the Christian woman
When you think of the word “porn,” does it conjure up the image of a scruffy guy with messy hair in the basement watching porn in his underwear?
The truth is, although I receive many requests for prayer and advice from men who are slaves to pornography, I recently had an encounter with a pretty young woman who was struggling with the same addiction.
I already knew that this problem existed among the softer sex. I woke up to that fact while listening to a Christian radio show on the subject many years ago and was surprised that half of the callers were teenage girls. I will always remember the young woman who called crying because she felt powerless to resist the lure. A Christian girl, who was attending her youth group, school children began to pass on a website address. Wanting to fit in, he connected. She was hooked. Not only did she get hooked, but she tearfully admitted that she was confused about her sexuality, having been turned on by both lesbian photos and straight things.
My heart ached for her. It still does.
We are sexual beings. Look at yourself naked in a mirror. Everything in our anatomy screams reproduction. Without the God-given urges that we feel, there is no other way the species could have procreated. Sex was God’s idea (and a great idea). Let Satan pervert those desires and turn something beautiful into something so vile and harmful.
I found some statistics from 2003 on pornography and its impact on society. I’m sure they are worse now, 5 years later. Prepare yourself:
Of the adults who admit to being addicted to sex on the Internet: 10%; 28% of them are women (internet-filter-review.com).
It impacts women more than we can imagine: More than 70% of men ages 18 to 34 visit a porn site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).
Our young people, even Christians, are being fed a constant diet of nudity and sex-related lies. In real life, women don’t look or act like this.
But perception is reality.
Our girls just can’t compete.
I was doing premarital counseling with a couple when, on our last night before the wedding, I gave them the opportunity to talk about anything they wanted to come out. Sure enough, the young woman sheepishly admitted her fear of disappointing her husband when he saw her body compared to everyone else she had been exposed to all her life, if only at the cashier counters in stores and on the shelves of magazines. .
Girls, don’t be fooled. There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing. Outwardly, they can show all the signs of being “good.” Inside, well … they’re a mess. You have every right to know your Internet viewing habits and to view the magazines you subscribe to. Don’t be too quick to give your heart and invite trouble later. As a former singles pastor, my advice was always, “Become whoever you want to marry.” It is the factor of harvest and sowing.
When it comes to the impact of pornography on marriage, at a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Marriage Lawyers, two-thirds of the 350 divorce attorneys in attendance said that the Internet played a significant role in divorces last year, with an excessive interest in online pornography. contributing to more than half of those cases. Pornography played an almost non-existent role in the divorce just seven or eight years ago. “(Divorcewizards.com)
STATISTICS ON WOMEN WITH ADDICTION TO PORNOGRAPHY
28% of those who admit to sexual addiction are women (internet-filter-review.com).
That was five years ago.
34% of readers of the online newsletter Today’s Christian Woman admitted to having intentionally accessed pornography on the Internet in a recent survey and 1 in 6 women, including Christian women, struggles with a pornography addiction (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003). It takes a lot of deliverance and sadly, very few who even know what it means to minister in that way.
The impact on families and marriages is devastating and affects women in other negative ways as their desire to marry and raise children in a healthy and happy home fades. 47% of families said that pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003). Add that to drug and alcohol problems, teenage rebellion, overeating, domestic violence, work addiction, and everything else that goes wrong behind closed doors.
CHRISTIANS, PASTORS AND CHURCHES PORN STATISTICS
I have heard of too many cases of clergymen having affairs with female members of their flock. It is not surprising. 51% of pastors say cyberporn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001). In fact, more than half of evangelical pastors admit to seeing pornography in the past year.
Roger Charman of Focus on the Family’s Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20 percent of the calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are to help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.
In a 2000 Christianity Today poll, 33% of clergy admitted to visiting a sexually explicit website. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited those sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visited sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week. These are our Church leaders. When a woman with a problem visits a man with the same problem for spiritual help, what else can we expect? How spirits attract each other, after all.
Sheep fare no better than herders with 29% of born-again adults in the US feeling that it is morally acceptable to watch movies with explicit sexual behavior (The Barna Group).
57% of pastors say that pornography addiction is the most sexually damaging problem for their congregation (Sexual and Christian Leadership Magazine Survey, March 2005).
LOOKING FOR COMFORT IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE WORLD
We are aliens on this planet. We are not from around here and therefore we should give up our attempts to get comfortable. Such attempts are useless. However, because the cycle of emotional pain among women, even the Christian variety, has been going on for so long, our ladies rush to things like Valium, extramarital and premarital affairs, romance novels, soap operas, pornography, and, yes, even religion, for comfort. Some may even embrace shyness, manliness, or what is known as a “Jezebel” spirit. They are doing that INSTEAD of running to the God of all comfort; the loving Father who wants nothing more than to kiss them and make things better. They need the ministry, but very few ministers are equipped to minister in the required way.
Why wouldn’t a Christian run to their Christ and instead run into the arms of another porn-like lover? The answer is obvious: she doesn’t know him. Like a man with homosexual tendencies, who throws himself into Christian service hoping to cleanse himself and “get better,” many women expect to sit on a bench every time the door is opened and attend conferences, even read Christian books, it will make everyone feel comfortable. the problem disappears.
It will not.
Only Jesus has the power to do that. Only He is our Liberator. Freedom will come when the foul spirit of pornography bends to His Name and not another.
I have read that the early Church ministered exorcisms to new converts before baptizing them and introducing them to the Christian community. Great idea!
Here are some promises from Scripture that I hope will encourage you. I followed this up with a prayer that you might want to print and paste next to your bathroom mirror. Remember this: God is not angry with you. Stop feeling so guilty and aware of sin and focus on your relationship with the Redeemer. Jesus suffered for the sins of the world, including HIS. There is no judgment left, the wrath of God is not coming, there is no punishment. The debt has been paid and God is satisfied. Between Calvary, which was the judgment of Christ, and the Day of Judgment, when all the books will be opened, there is no room for judgment in this world. However, most Christians seem unable to overcome that conscience of sin that oppresses and represses them. The price has been paid! You have already reconciled to God! When he sees you, go to Jesus! You could not be good enough and you are not bad enough to lose your place with Him. This goodness of God is what will lead you to repentance. Don’t expect that from church services or Christian books.
Get started on your road to recovery today!
Psalm 10:17
Lord, you know the hopes of the homeless. You will surely hear their cries and comfort them.
Psalm 23: 4
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, because you are close to me.
Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
Psalm 119: 76
Now let your inexhaustible love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.
2 Corinthians 1: 4
He comforts us in all our problems so that we can comfort others.
Thank you, Lord, for being my Comforter. I have been crying for comfort since the moment I was born. Now, I feel like I need your comfort, the only REAL comfort there is, more than ever. I am tired of trying to win and I am running towards YOU – The One who dwells within me and who can do nothing BUT win. Be the Lord of my life; the Owner of my sinful nature, my bad habits, my addictions. Thank you for comforting me, Lord Jesus, so that I, in turn, will be better equipped to comfort others who are also struggling with bondage. I also thank you for healing me where I was injured. Not just physically, but deep down in those darkest places that no one but you can see. Thank you for giving me the grace to forgive those who hurt me; they didn’t know what they were doing to me. I think you are the one who can deliver me; increases my disbelief that the things I struggle with are even real. Help me not to believe ANY MORE that I am trapped, that I am a victim, that I am a second-rate Christian. Help me to believe more firmly than ever that I am who YOU say I am … redeemed, liberated, healed, the enemy’s worst nightmare, part of a kingdom of priests and kings. Thanks, Dad. I love you and I pray this in the mighty Name of Jesus, the Name above all names. Amen!
Every blessing
Miguel tummillo
Workplace Chaplain
http://www.YourTown4Jesus.com