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Learn the Biggest Lesson Complaint Deals and Losses

The death of a loved one and the grief that follows teach many lessons. Perhaps the most important is that pain is the signal to embark on a new path in life. This is a double-barreled lesson. First, we often have to decide to do some things that we hadn’t previously thought of, or never tried before. And second, just as important, the key to moving into our new world (ie, our adjustment to loss) is the need to act.

Accepting the new and acting are crucial learning; they are also difficult to hug. The new direction takes many forms in the complaint process. Here are five to consider that others have had to deal with on their journey through tort. You may also have to deal with one or more of them.

1. Grief and loss often require the development of new routines. In cases of death, divorce, or loss of friendships, survivors often have to take on new responsibilities that may have belonged to their departed partner or friend. New routines, often difficult to institute, are important coping responses to establish. The sooner the better, because eventually they help bring stability to a life that has been changed by loss.

2. Grief and loss can say: change the way you perceive the world. Perceptions are the personal meaning we give to experience. Maybe you have to find new meanings. The world is no longer an entirely happy place to be, but one where pain must be accepted as part of the fabric of life. This is a very normal response, especially if this is the first time you have had to deal with a major loss.

3. Grief and loss sometimes involve the adoption of new beliefs. Beliefs affect every facet of your response to loss. One of the most critical new beliefs to ponder is that with most, if not all, losses, the key message is to take a different path, a new approach or access to adapt and reinvest in life. This is a big stumbling block for many, as we don’t like to give up our old ways and do nasty things.

One of the new considerations I suggest to most who are mourning the death of a loved one is that they are entering a new life, the next chapter. And what does that mean you should do?

4. Grief and loss can indicate the development of new relationships. Widows and widowers often lose their connections to other couples in their social circle. However, everyone needs interpersonal relationships of the right kind and number.

It may be necessary to deepen the relationships you already have by getting together more regularly with friends. Developing connections at your church or synagogue or with relatives you don’t see regularly is another avenue. What is clear is that such strong relationships promote health and longevity.

5. Grief and loss often result in the necessary development of new abilities and skills. Sometimes certain skills are necessary to accept a new job. At other times, it may be out of necessity: learn how to fix a leaky faucet or toilet tank, or pay a hefty bill to the local plumber. Sometimes it’s as simple as learning to pump your own gas. Many times it is learning how to do taxes and manage financial records.

In short, don’t ignore the biggest lesson grieving and loss teaches: pain signals to take a new path or stay in pain longer. Seek out those who have dealt with the type of loss you are experiencing or who are experts in helping the bereaved. Learn from their wisdom and experience regarding where you should take action on your new path.

We all, at various times, have to do what we don’t like to do. However, take solace in the fact that the story of loss shows that mourners adjust to their new path and are finally able to reinvest in life.

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