Hear the inner voice of love during grief
Have you ever felt extremely sad, abandoned, loveless, and suddenly received a revelation that provides temporary relief from your distress? Or have you felt like you have no future now that your loved one is not going to be with you, and then in an instant you see something you can do to keep the fight for survival alive? Where does this information come from? Who or what is behind?
Henri Nouwen, the world’s best-selling spiritual writer, says it comes from the inner voice of love, what others might call your spirit guides, guardian angels, God, or your deceased loved one. The scientific community would give it to intuition, to the sudden knowledge without reasoning that springs from within.
The point here is: how can you deliberately seek it out to cope with the loss of your loved one? How can you avoid being completely absorbed in your pain, one of the mistakes we all make at one point or another? Here are some helpful considerations.
1. Find a place in your home, church, or in nature where you know you will not be disturbed or where silence reigns. Rest in a comfortable position for a few minutes. Scan your body for tension and visualize any tight muscles as a stretched rubber band. Now use your imagination and watch the tight muscle shorten and relax. Take your time.
2. Keep a pen and paper on or near you so that you can write down everything that comes to mind. Now ask God, your Higher Power, angel, spirit guide or your loved one to come help you in your great time of need. As you sit quietly, be alert for images that come to mind, sounds you may hear, or feelings you may have. Write down everything you consider significant. Then meditate on what you have written.
3. Next, ask where you should go to find the right person or people to share your deepest feelings about your great loss. Your inner voice will lead you to those whose love will help ease your pain. Listen patiently. Look for a clue of the images that come to mind after you finish asking the question.
4. Ask what you need to know, or what course of action to take, to deal with the deep emotions you are feeling. Treat your self-talk the same way you would treat a best friend in your presence. Again, write whatever comes to mind.
5. Be willing to accept an image that appears in your consciousness that you did not expect. Perhaps it is a bird, a landscape, a pet, or another animal. Consider the symbolic meaning of this appearance and how it can be helpful in your grieving work and adjusting to your new environment.
6. What should you do if you think you have not received a response to your request? Just as we have been counseled to persevere when we pray, the same applies when seeking the inner voice of love. It will appear, but not necessarily on your schedule. You can receive information in a dream or a vision. Or later, you may suddenly receive a thought or message when you least expect it. In either case, be consistent in setting a daily time to listen to your inner voice.
7. What if an unwanted thought, a sad image, or a punitive or authoritarian figure from your past comes to mind? Pause and decide if it has any meaning or something to learn (for example, the punitive figure might remind you what not to do in a relationship). Then submit it as easily as it appeared by immediately shifting your full attention to your request. Don’t give it power by leaving it hanging. Refocus.
In short, identify with inner love and trust your inner voice to give you the new awareness you need to see your loss in a light of acceptance. Of course, this is not easy to do, although it is the only course of action that will lead to peace. With each search within you, you are developing your spiritual foundation.
Constantly ask for the insight and courage to face your new conditions of existence and learn to embrace the unpredictable. Look for repeated internal signs that you may have missed when they first appeared. Allow inner love to help you rise and accompany you through this transformation. You are loved forever.