Legal Law

Be a Man – Dominance vs Control

What does it mean to be a man?

When we ask ourselves that question, many things come to mind. We can talk about confidence, leadership, strength and all of those would be good answers, but what is the essence of being a man? In the last 40 years, the roles of a man and a woman have become increasingly blurred. Women of the 1940s and 1950s stayed home, raised children, and assumed the role of submissive wives. In the 1960s and 1970s, feminism took center stage, and as more and more divorces occurred, women became single mothers and left to raise children on their own. I was the product of a single mother and no father in the 1980s and have spent much of my life trying to answer the question of what it means to be a man.

Now that we turn the page to 2010, we see that these roles are almost gone. Men have become dependent, lacking in direction, followers, cowards, and most of all irresponsible. In the community we learn about “pull switches”. We are taught to be confident, but we are never taught WHY this role is important or even HOW to maintain confidence.

So what is a man in 2010 and why is this important to your love life?

Because being a man is a role that will NEVER go away. It may seem obvious, but the truth is;

Women … Like … Men …

I want to give you my characteristics of what a man is and what his role is.

Responsibility

Most men believe that being responsible means financially supporting a family. Being responsible means that your role is to accept when you are wrong, but live with the mindset that you are right and trust your ability to make decisions. A man must also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family and his partner. This means taking action when circumstances require and doing whatever is necessary to resolve issues that arise.

A protector

A protector means that you can more than protect her physically from other people; It also means protecting your self esteem and self worth. One of the greatest compliments a woman can pay a man is feeling safe around him.

A leader

A good leader takes the initiative rather than passively waiting for his or her spouse or partner to initiate it. Leadership shows confidence and we all know that confidence is very attractive to a woman. Most of the guys miss the mark here and see leadership as a one-way street. A good leader inspires others to greatness, thereby giving value while leading the relationship or home.

Educate

A man of great value is a mentor to others through word and action. Set high standards and teach by doing. He is impeccable with his word and his actions demonstrate confidence, in addition to guiding others to improve their lives. This is a powerful trait a man must have because the strength of character it takes to be a mentor shows a wide variety of attraction switches, such as: confidence, leadership, social proof, and social status.

The cowardly behavior of men is changing the roles that men and women have and causing men to become submissive, feminine and afraid to take the initiative.

The first step to understanding and changing this behavior is becoming dominant.

Domination does NO it means that you are the owner of another person, simply domination means that you have authority over another person. You take the initiative and direct the interaction. If we talk about relationships, it means that you are the one who leads the relationship, others agree and offer their opinion. You DO NOT control the other person, she is free to be who she is as well as you are free to be who you are, you are simply leading the relationship and she is more than welcome to add information.

Many guys confuse dominance with total control …

A relationship is not about control because control is based on fear, a relationship must be based on love and love has to do with freedom. Mastery simply means that you are going to step up and be the man. You are going to guide her and she will choose to follow you or not. This means making plans, choosing where to eat, setting limits, and enforcing them.

The next step is to take the lead.

You are the leader because you are the man. Tell him what you want !! When I counsel people in a relationship, I often find the same problem happening over and over again. No person is expressing what they really want.

You will NEVER get what you want if you don’t clearly communicate what you really want and expect from the other person.

Taking leadership means that you understand that your role as a man in the relationship is to step up and lead. Take authority over your actions and take the relationship wherever you want.

Control emotions

One quality of a man that many people overlook is the ability to control emotions. Women are creatures of emotion and therefore their moods will change as their emotions change. As a man, you are responsible for controlling your emotions and not letting your emotions control you. Many times when a man has no father figure and was raised by only one mother, he will be a very emotional man. However, part of taking on the role of a man is having mastery over his emotional well-being as well. It’s okay to show emotions, in fact, it’s vital! However, you must show restraint and that restraint of emotions is VERY attractive to women.

Become independent

Independence is an important trademark of a man. Independence shows that you can take care of yourself and therefore you can take care of others. Independence shows that you understand how life works and have freed yourself from your dependence on others both financially and emotionally.

Have direction in life

Having a direction in life is another vital role that a man must assume. If you are going to be the leader of a relationship or family, you must show that you are leading her in the direction she wants to take and that you have the faith in you to follow it. One of the greatest compliments a woman can pay a man is that you are multidimensional. You have different passions than the ones she first saw.

They set standards

At the beginning of any interaction with a woman, they are sending signals to each other about where their limits are. He communicates them in many ways, such as verbal cues, body language, and willingness to follow through on suggestions. As she sets limits, the woman’s job is to test these limits to see if it will keep her under control. When the man allows his limits to be broken, the woman loses attraction to him. In time, the woman will leave the man because she loses all respect for him and sees him as an inappropriate partner.

A man sets his standards and keeps them there. One of the best phrases in life is “we teach people how to treat us.” We do this by setting limits and then holding others accountable for violating them.

For a final point, I will try to answer the question what does it mean to be a man? I think from all my experiences I can say that we know we are a man when we see him. When you take responsibility for your actions, you begin to understand the world not from the eyes of selfishness, but from the eyes of altruism.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *